October 26, 2010

Reverie: Don't Speak

These are the things I would never say to you, because you mean more to me then some pretentious lust for money; or some need to always be right, or just to fulfill my want for finding things wrong.

You worked a total of 2 days our whole relationship before 3 weeks ago. I've worked from October - December / March - June and July-October. Yes, I missed more then my fair share of days, but at least I had a job.

I'll give you the fact that you were collecting $750 a month, for sitting in the mental ward for 4 days was helpful, and it served purposeful, but you didn't work for it. But all the months before that, who made sure you had weed? smokes? xtc? cocaine? alcohol? etc. Oh yeah, that would be me. I begged, borrowed, worked, and stole to make sure you were happy. I never complained, called you down for it, rubbed it in your face, I just asked that you helped with the dogs after I worked because I was tired.

Now, in September of this year. I was the only one working, and yes your family paid for us to get on our feet here, but every time I came home from work, there were people over, shit and piss everywhere from the dogs, and nothing was done. Yet, you claim that the house was always clean. I never bitched.

Now, you have a job, and I do too, but I don't make enough as it is, and I don't get enough hours, but I still work. I still am the only one who cleans, cooks, and does dishes. Oh and don't forget I'm the only one who feeds our dogs, waters them, and takes them outside.

I appreciate you work, but both of us should be helping take care of this house.

I still don't bitch.

but you, you have the nerve to call me lazy, as sick as you know I am, and as much as I do for you. I took care of your fucking ass, even when I was supposed to be on bed rest from my surgery, even when I had my wisdom tooth removed and in more pain then you could know, I took care of you, no question.

So this is basically a fuck you, that I would never say to you, because unlike you, I appreciate that you are at least doing something, instead of nothing at all, and I don't want to fight.