The moment I fell in love with you, I knew my world would never be the same, but I never imagined it would be like this. To be honest, most days are good, I'm happy, and then something little will happen, like walking by a blue dodge ram, that's when it hurts the most.
The way I miss you comes and fills my lungs instead of air, and every breath hurts. With every beat of my heart comes another memory of you, another picture in my head, another word you said, your laugh, your smile & the way you looked at me.
It's hard to get out of those moments because a part of me wants to stay there because it's all I have left of you.
I often wonder if I'll ever let go, or if a part of me will always be waiting.
You know it's funny to the world, your nothing special. Just your less than average uneducated middle aged man, but in my world your so much more.
Your everything to me.
I'm sure there is a perfectly good purpose for my having to go through this, but I want you to know, I forgive you and when you go again, I hope you find peace, unlike me, instead of being at peace I'm in pieces.
I've been missing you for longer then you've actually been gone. I want to move on, but my heart's got other plans.
On a positive note, I've been given inspiration to write again, so that's what I've been doing, taking the pain and letting it flow in my words. I can't bottle this up no more. Like I said in the beginning, most days are good, I'm happy, and I want to keep it that way.
I can only keep what I have by giving it away, by letting my tears flow, and by being honest about the fact that yeah I'm really fucking heart broken, but I'm the happiest I've been in a long time, ironic as that sounds.
So I'd like to thank you...because I let you build me high up on words and promises, and when you left I fell, but in the process I learnt how to fly.
#seeingthelightindarkness
