I miss tickling your arms so fucking bad..... Fuck I would kill not to be living this nightmare...
May 16, 2015
This isn't real (fuck it is)
I remember a long time ago, when you told me you wanted to be my only, all you wanted was to hold me.
It's fucking impossible to wrap my head around how I'm now sitting here, lonely, wishing you'd hold me, wondering if you ever meant all the things you told me.
I thought you'd never hurt me, wait, I suppose you didn't hurt me....
I never seen it coming, that you would completely fucking destroy ever fiber of my being, my universe, gone, just like that.....
Never seen it coming, nope.
Glad to have played the subject of a sick joke, I hope you choke,
AK
Ivgvuvish - part of my broken head
Every time you looked in my eyes, was all just one big fucking lie. Everything you swore you'd never do, you went and did & double too.
You said you'd never leave my side, but that was just another lie, maybe I'm just high, but I'm hypnotized by those lies.
Our Love you said would never die, has left me with no more tears to cry, or will to try.
I'm alone, wishing you'd phone, I never imagined silence could be so fucking loud.
I wanna gauge my eyes out, or beat the memory of you the fuck out of my head... Anything is better then this, even being dead.
Thanks Dev
May 15, 2015
Reverie: Pro Choice
Was this what you wanted? I'm dying to know, you swore this isn't the way it would go.
Did you always know you would leave me alone?
Right now I'm wishing that I never hung up on you the last time you phoned.
But would it have made a difference?
Only you would know.
All the time we shared together, were they real, or were you just playing the role?
You broke every promise you said, and yet I sit and wait, hoping you'll change your mind, praying it's not too late....
You destroyed my faith, and you broke the Love I Loved the most, without even an explanation....
Do you know how you have broken my head?
I don't even know if you care, or ever cared.... Why would you do this, please tell me....
Anyways, I love you always, even if you don't Love me
April 25, 2015
Reverie: 6 of Clubs
Eight months ago, my entire Universe was taken away, and put in a cage, locked-up, and those heartless monsters threw away the key.
I don't even know how to describe what it's like, living without the Love that you need to survive, but if I had to compare it to something, I'd say it's torture.
Eight months & counting, I'm losing this fight, but on my life, I swear, I'm gunna win the War, if that even matters.
You know how you've always wondered what it would be like to be invisible?
Well, for the past eight months I've had the luxury of being invisible, all in our honour, with the bigger picture in mind.....
I'm starting to lose mine though, you know, my mind ?
Sometimes I even start believing the lie, and questioning the truth....
Guess I'm just a Big Bad Goof
April 6, 2015
April 5, 2015
In retrospect
I will never give you that satisfaction again.
I'm done doubting the Love I know is real.
He knows me better then I know myself, hell, the man is more myself then I am if that's even possible....
& I'll never give it up, not for anything, not for you, not for meth, not even in death.
Reality
You haven't called for two days, I can only imagin why that would be. Your wife has said some things again, and it's not that I believe her, but at this exact moment I just don't want any part of this anymore, it hurts too much, and I mean, what do you care, you can't even call.
April 3, 2015
Chopsticks 4 French Fries
I don't know where the time has gone, it's like I closed my eyes a little too long,
A year used to seem like a life time, now it's not long enough.
I don't know whether the heart in my chest, is a blessing or a curse. Perhaps we've got it backwards, and maybe we aren't so lucky to see another day, perhaps the luck comes in death, but what do I know?
You know it's funny how something so insignificant can one day be so significant , and how one day something so significant can turn out to be insignificant.
If I'm a product of my enviorment then am I Eco-friendly?
Why is it I feel so inclined to continue partaking in the game.
When I look in the mirror, my reflection isn't the same, the girl I see is a messed up version of me, one that in my future, I did not ever see...
I never imagined in all my wildest thoughts or dreams that this is what life had in store for me
I'm not sure if my life is a blessing or a curse, but George Ladouceur, your presence in my life, is definitely a blessing, one that I am very greatful for having, you being you had an effect on my life and I'll never forget you.....
Mad Love && Respect
April 1, 2015
February 28, 2015
Angels, Demons, and Convicts 1
I was always looking in the passenger side mirror for them, I thought I'd be able to see them coming a mile a way. In fact, I guess it's a little humorous how I allowed myself to believe that I could be prepared for seeing those lights.
"Look behind us babe" my fiancé calmly told me.
I squinted, looking in the mirror trying to see what he was talking about..... However I saw nothing out of the ordinary.
Maybe I was in denial, or just didn't want it to be true, but regardless, we had two RCMP's behind us, and the chase was on.
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