Five Dollar Bills

There once was this great man, that showed me how when looking at it the right way, a Canadian $5 bill has more to it then meets the eye.... that man passed away on March 29, 2012.... and I will never forget my amazement the first time he showed me that trick... it was a day like any other, I was grippin' flapp.... it was just me, him & Chuck...and at that moment it seemed so insignificant, but now its so much more, 'cause its memories like those that help him live on! Rest Easy, Tong!

You High, Baby?

There's nothing you could ever do,

nothing you could ever say,

that could ever make me walk away,

there's nothing in this world I wouldn't 

try and do for you. All these things spin

around in my head, and remind me every day,

that despite everything I try to tell myself,

I'm inLove with you. 

Even though I care about the guy I'm with,

nothing compares to the feelings I get at the thought

of you. I know how you are,

I'd never expect to be your only,

but its how you make me feel

when its just you & me.

It the closest thing to pure ecstasy 

Your always on my mind,

even when I don't see you for weeks or longer.

I never thought I'd feel like this about you.

O.o

[il ya deux jours, j'ai triché sur mon petit ami avec KB]

but it happened 'cause, he always says this to
me & well these lyric's by Dizzy explain it perfectly:

"I do nothin' for ya, all I do's annoy ya, do it all on purpose too,
I just love hurtin' you, never even really try, said I care,
but that's a lie. If you can believe all this,
then I don't really need this shit!"

and Nahla had 11 puppies; 5 are left!

Reverie; Nail in the Coffin

Here I am again, in this same redundant circle I always find myself in; This time there's a difference though, 'cause this time I'm a little more broken though & I'm trying so hard to keep my fight up, but this time I feel too weak to pull through it.

Everyday its the exact same story, the exact same purpose, the exact same fights & excuses; The exact same reason I fall further behind & further away from who & what I used to be.

Everyday I grow a little closer to my new life & a little further from my old one,

but hey, I heard change is good, right?

Honestly, I love my new little life I have acquired, I'm generally always happy, I don't have to fight with anyone, or answer to anyone....

but then the times I am alone, I miss the things I loved the most... my dog & my boyfriend.

So, the love I carry for them, brought me back.

&& it breaks me down; because even though I will ALWAYS love my boyfriend, I'm not the same person that I was when I loved him. I'm different; I'm ro6ugher & I learned how to "not care".

Sometimes I look at him, and I can taste the life we had, and I want to do good and try to fix it; but in the next breath, I'm on my way out the door back to my new life, leaving him there waiting..... until I wanna inhale a bit of what I used to know... and I do that everyday.

Why? because I am emotionally incapable of actually dealing with these feelings, this hurt & the only thing I am mentally capable of dealing with, is getting high.

Its just one thing, its simple; that's all I can handle, anything that's too "big" or "too much" will push me over the edge and its just not a very pretty scene.

Well, really, its hard to have a relationship with someone, when you have someone else on your mind & on top of that, flapp attacks.

Anyways, I'll write more later, my Gack Show is about to begin.