Ernest Watson

Babies shouldn't die,

Soulmates should never have to seperate.

Unfortunately for me, I live in a world where babies die, and love fails.

I wouldn't wish the pain in my heart on my worst enemy.

It's a miracle that I'm sitting here writting this, but Of course that is just one more thing I should be grateful for that I take forgranted....

When he leaves me, waiting for him, I isolate myself, I don't return text messages or phone calls. I miss appointments...I would like to say I lose track of time but every single second drags out into minutes, hours, then days, then weeks, eventually months....

Its insanity. And it repeats itself flawlessly. See, while this is happening I am well aware of the consequences and situations that follow, however my mind cannot snap out of the anxiety of need you to hold me, and nothing else matters.

Then there I am, laying in your arms. My anxiety is cured, my heart is whole & everything is right again, but its like trying to hold on to sand as it helplessly slips through my fingers, because all the reactions to my actions have built up, and I know, that I'm not free, and I know soon again something will take my love away from me.

I can't stop loving Devin. I've tried literally everything. When he's gone, I do whatever I can to avoid having to be present in his absence.

When I'm in his arms, everything is perfect, and even though I know that the nightmare is soon to follow, I cant stop smiling, and those are the moments I hold on for.

As time goes on, I feel like I'm losing him, and by that I mean, he's too tired to fight & I understand, even though it hurts me.

I strongly believe that we are weaker apart, and that's why I'm asking for help to beat our demons.....pray for him & I....

I love you to Iraq & Back