Reverie -Sometimes, goodbyes really are Forever

So, its now the 11th day since my beautiful baby brother became my fondest memory; Since I lost my better half, my best friend, my whole heart. I find it hard to smile about things that used to put me on Cloud Nine, or do things that I did before; before I lost my heart and soul, before I lost my everything.

I'm not going to lie and say I'm going to be ok, because the truth is I don't think I'm ever going to be ok again, not after this. I find myself full of rage, keeping to myself, cringing at even the thought of someone touching me.

Perhaps this did happen for a reason, but I don't care.

Perhaps it is selfish for me to push everyone else away. I know its not fair, but, I do know, that I have found a whole new interpretation of "Living Dead'". Sure I have a pulse, my lungs are filled with air, but inside, I am dead, empty.

Right now, however, my father is here, and my brothers mother, and our uncle, so its not the best of times to be blogging.

Later <3